Parenting is Easy.

Parenting is easy.  (Sometimes)

In 2007 I had the very good fortune to become a mom to my sweet boy Bryce.  I share my parenting efforts with awesome partner in crime, my husband Carl.  "Parenting is easy." I more or less thought.  Sure we had some first time parenting issues, for example I was really overwhelmed at picking a brand of baby bottles.  In the end I picked a brand that was found to be choked full of BPA.  All of my best intentions and I had probably poisoned my new and perfect boy.  And too there were are mishaps in finding a decent solution for his day care.  It might be true that I only went to one daycare before enrolling our son in a place that I felt in my gut was not good enough.  It lived up to my fears.  But in general, parenting was easy.  It must be because we are such great parents.  Clearly if you are just good at something, well then, it comes easily.

In 2009 we became doubly fortunate to add another boy to our family:  Chase.  We welcomed Chase home to his big brother, exactly two years older and in no way ready to share his life with this thing that cried.  ALL.THE.TIME.  "Put him away."  Bryce insisted.  But alas there was no padded, sound proof room for us to stick Chase in, and so we all just listened to him.  

At his well visits as a newborn the doctors asked, "How often does he cry?" 

"All the time." I replied.

"Well how many hours would you say?"

"Six, I suppose."

"How many hours is he awake?" The doctor looked perplexed.

"Six."

"So he cries all the time?"  The doctor starting to come around to the reality we are working with here.

"Yes, all the time." I repeated.

Fast forward 3 and half years and we find ourselves with a small collection of labels that have been stamped on his files that live in offices of a variety of different doctors and specialists.

Among which are:  Sensory Processing Disorder, Dyspraxia and a chromosomal duplication.  It might be that he gets a few more labels along the way, or perhaps three hurdles are enough jumping for one little boy.  Either way, I welcome you to our lives with Chase and his big brother, Bryce.  Both delightful.

I have to tell you that I have never heard of one of these issues until I had Chase.  I'm learning as a go.  I become smarter and more confuses simultaneously.     I find myself reading everything I can get my hands on.  The library is going to give me my own memorial park bench from my late fees.  (I believe it was my husband how kindly pointed out, "It takes a real loser to be sent to collections from the library.")  The internet has yielded me dozens of online forums and fake friends.  (I say with love.)  The nicest guy drives around our neighborhood in a big brown truck and throws books on my doorstep, those have been really helpful.  I find that I have to keep reading, because no one ever wrote a book about Chase.  He is one of kind.  And so, I guess that job will fall to me.  Maybe I'll write the book about Chase.  Maybe.  But maybe he'll write his own book.  I'm sure he has stories to tell.  You know after he learns to talk :)

And so, while Chase might be one of a kind some our daily struggles are not.  Our chaos is not that unique.  Sometimes it is pretty darn entertaining and perhaps you would care to buckle down with us on our roller-coaster.  Maybe you are one your own roller-coaster.  Either way, I'm pleased to share our chaos.  I'm pleased to proclaim that I have two perfect boys, wildly different from one another and I'm humbled to admit that parenting is not easy.  It takes patience and tears.  It takes glitter all over the kitchen (I guess, because that keeps happening), it takes trips to the doctors who sometimes look at you like you are crazy yourself.  It take IEP meetings, it takes awkward exchanges with other moms, "I'm sorry my son bit yours, he is going through a bit of a phase." It takes a monkey leash.  It takes help.  It takes a beer at night.  It takes screaming in your car with the windows up.  And it helps if it comes with hugs, good friends and supportive co-parents.  I'm lucky to have all of that.  I'm lucky to have my boys.